One week from today I will hopefully have survived 26.2 miles in the streets of Lincoln, Nebraska.
There’s a slight problem… It really isn’t a big deal… um…. I haven’t really been running much. I had designed a beautiful training plan and was following it, only mentally complaining often, like any normal runner… until injury happened.
I found myself relatively depressed. I qualified for this race with my 1st marathon time back in Nov… it wasn’t a fast requirement (4:30 for females)… to represent the TN Army National Guard. I’m supposed to be out there as a role model to others and I’m showing up untrained! I cannot put into words the amount of anxiety that’s causing. After weeks of injury, I got out and ran a trail half marathon in March and it went fine so I was going to resume training… WRONG. Then I got the mother of all colds that took me out of commission for 10 days. I couldn’t breathe.
I believe I can run a marathon and Felicity Luckey says I’m halfway there 😉 I hope that crazy will carry me the other 13.1 miles.
Is it possible to have trained the mind without training the body? I have done the best I can to maintain intense workouts with crossfit. I have done alternate forms of cardio. I have read books and articles about incredible endurance athletes and people that overcome obstacles. I have run a marathon before… I hit the wall for 8 miles because I started out too fast… I have gone 50.47mi in 11.5 hours despite not having run in 2 months. I know my brain has some toughness to endure. I just wish I wasn’t going to be slower than the qualifying time.
There may not be a midnight for me next week. So this is a rule I can live by! 😉
I’m not afraid to take chances. That’s for sure. I love people telling me that I’m crazy. I love people telling me that I can’t do something. Oh I can. I might not be fast or strong… but I am too damn stubborn not to do it. I may cry a river of tears before, during, and after.
Next Sunday I will need to embrace pain. I could easily be defeated (by a crumpling ankle in a pothole or something) but I will continue to move forward (I hope).
I am scared as hell. I’m not gonna lie. I remember practically falling apart after my marathon in November. I do not actually KNOW one person out there this time. I won’t have any burst of energy coming from my husband popping up to give me a GU. I won’t have my brother or anyone waiting at the finish line. I am prone to migraines after exertion (regardless of how well I hydrate beforehand). Crossfit lasts at worst 45-50 minutes and that’s more rare than common. That’s nothing compared to a 4.5-5hr race… So I’m just scared.
I don’t like the idea of knowing that I’m supposed to be a role model… a good example of a physically active and fit soldier… I don’t know how to explain how not having trained makes me feel. Bad. I feel bad. I feel pressure and like I’m letting people down. 😦 I survived those 50 miles… I need to remember that (I’ll just “forget” that I couldn’t walk for 3 days after)
What do you think? Play it safe or leave it all out on that course after taking it easy the first half? I have a couple of other people from TNARNG that will be out there and can help me out if I were to need it.
Have you ever run a race you weren’t prepared for? How did it go?