Dream… Support… Love & Magic

Welcome to my mind….. this isn’t fitness related, but it’s well-being related. Mental happiness is key to motivation and self-esteem. There are no pictures, only thoughts… and a song about dreaming and love… it just fits and it’s good.

It is no secret that I have been on a Glee spree for the last week and a half. I’m addicted to a show that over-exaggerates high school stereotypes and tackles real, tough to deal with, struggles of becoming an adult and being an adult.  The do so with pizazz and flair, sure… but the lessons are real.  They have tackled large issues from gay and lesbian acceptance, with the supporting issues of bullying and suicide, along with lessons about failure, selflessness, courage, confidence, friendship, love, and a plethora of other things. I know, trust me I know, how absolutely absurd this may sound… Glee is hard to digest at times, but I have laughed and cried with those silly ridiculous characters many times.  Everyone is struggling to figure out who they are and what their dreams are.  Not just the teens…. Adults too. Adults lose their way and need guidance or advice to ignore too. haha.

Thanks to Glee, I realized my ability to sing and dance is non-existent. Trust me, people ought to be glad my windows were still rolled up last week and that I dance with the blinds down at home. I have realized that I just hear music and memorize words or sounds/patterns. I have realized what joy music truly brings and how emotional it can be.  Granted, I listen to a truly moving piece of classical music and my waterworks are in full effect…. But that’s irrelevant.

I have found myself asking what it is my dream is… I’m 28 years old… Clearly, not getting any younger… what is my dream? What was my dream in high school? Where did I see myself……. The problem is, I never had a vision. I never had someone ask me that. I had people push, push, push me a certain direction and I am not one to go against the flow. Ever since I was a small child, I knew I wanted to teach. I wanted to help… to reach out… to mold… to encourage… to inform. Ask my brother, he can tell you. Lord only knows how many times I made that poor boy endure playing “school” after school! I need to figure out what my dream is now….

I’ve realized that a solid support system is critical. I have a small, but supportive group of friends. We are not living in close proximity and do not speak on a daily basis… but I know they’re there. I recently decided to reach out to someone that was incredibly close to me for a little while. I walked away from them after I got tired of being ignored, lied to, and pushed away. Their life fell apart around them and I wanted to be there and to help, but they just would not open up. I was driving to drill two weeks ago and I just suddenly realized that I needed to tell them I love them and miss them. I had reached out to them before I ever saw my first episode of Glee though, but watching the show reinforced that decision. I have people warning me to exercise caution……. There was once a time when I needed to be forgiven for all that I had done and needed someone to support me as I climbed back up.

I have realized that I have a very simple marriage that is full of love and communication. We tend to hide behind the doors of our home and if we go out, it’s food and a movie. There is NOTHING wrong with that… but Paul and I have so much more passion and enthusiasm for life than we are setting free here. We don’t like where we live… so what? He chose active duty and I chose to marry him… it’s up to us to find joy and things to do. So we’ve decided to look into local theater shows, concerts, live band nights, and other things to get us out and about. Your life is what you make it. My brother and his wife initially inspired that thought as they have branched out and started doing things out of ordinary for them, such as attending a UT basketball game or seeing STOMP live. Sometimes finances may tether us down a little, but you can usually still hear a live band from out on the sidewalk and their public… we have food and can always have a nice picnic that Roxanne would somehow ruin by frolicking through the food or eating it…. I’ve seen the stupid TV romances and sometimes I’m jealous unrealistically…. Then I realize Paul and I have magic, we’ve just been hiding it. J it’s time to get out into the world again and let our love shine. It’s still young… and love is a fire… gotta fuel it.

Are you where you wanted to be 10 years ago?
Somewhere better or somewhere worse maybe. Sometimes your dream morphs into a new reality.
Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
Dreams do come true.

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